I began a post yesterday about planning a wedding from a guy’s point of view. So I wanted to continue with Part 2 today – click the link to read Part 1.
Wedding Planning Guy Advice (Part 1)
So my wife did most of the planning and organizing of our wedding but believe me, I was involved in plenty and did experience all of this first hand, especially since we already live together. Although this may be changing currently, I assume most couples don’t live together prior to getting married, but with us living together, having combined finances, having kids already – I was there for most everything. As mentioned, I don’t believe my opinion really mattered unless she agreed with it but I did know a couple of things which was important to me that I wanted to make sure happened.
Open bar. I wanted to make sure that the guests had an option for premium beer and spirits. I am a fan of consuming adult beverages, especially on special occasions and I wanted to make sure that everyone had exactly what they would like to drink. Since I felt like Mrs. Z dismissed most things I had to say, she did agree with me on this particular selection and we went to the next topic.
Another discussion we needed to have is the flower girls at our wedding, I was initially nervous about this, mostly about the older one, who has been shy on multiple occasions and I was afraid she would chicken out. We discussed this multiple times leading up to the wedding day, but we ultimately decided on having her do it which was an excellent decision and she did great, more on this on the wedding day post.
DJ selection? We had multiple options and Mrs. Z had done more research on this than I had. I did have a recommended DJ through my network, but Mrs. Z had decided on this which I was a bit apprehensive about as well. This was a conversation my mom brought up numerous times because she had multiple suggestions on the DJ and wanted specific DJs that were recommended to her. She wanted to make sure that certain Russian songs were played and that “my” Russian side of the family had fun. Mrs. Z had made a deposit on based on her own research and we ignored this subject up until a week before. We had so many obligations with jobs, kiddos, daily tasks that once the deposit was made, we ignored this and the online organization chart for the wedding day (basically what we expected from the DJ). Thankfully, we met with him a week before, and went through a lot of information that made me feel more comfortable about the day. More importantly than the songs he would play, and other details – I felt he had a great personality and seemed like a fun guy, another decision that I applaud my wife on. Although I think she just got lucky on her selection.
And since I mentioned the DJ, think about all the things you need to select. What song the bride comes out to, the song groom comes out to, what song you walk out to during introduction, first dance song for bride and groom, first dance song for daughter dad dance, first song for son mom dance. Although I thought these would all be easy selections, I was wrong. I had to second guess myself, we often debated on our first dance song up until the day of the wedding. As a guy, be sure you prepare yourself for solid arguments and what songs you want heard, its not as easy as you may think.
Another guy task was selecting the Groomsmen Gifts. Although my wife had hers selected and bought months in advance, I’m a guy and procrastinated this until the last possible moment. I actually picked up the gifts the day of the rehearsal dinner which is when we gave our bridal party favors. It’s not that it was difficult to select this for my boys, but it got stressful to have to run around and do this type of thing when I knew 9 months in advance that I needed this done. For those of you interested, I bought glass decanters engraved with their initials which were not super expensive but looked outstanding, very happy with my decision on this.
The one item I did select ahead of time was the tuxes for the groomsmen and I. As the day got closer, I changed my mind. I was at Men’s Wearhouse multiple times changing my mind. Although I had selected what I was wearing, I had worn a complete different shirt to the wedding, more on this at the Wedding Day post.
What about the photographer? Katie had selected this and made a deposit months in advance. However, as the day came closer, and after talking to several people, what about a videographer? At first we had both chose that we needed to save as much money as we could, since we were making all the deposits and payments on credit cards, and a video was something we could live without. The conversations I had though, made me think differently. This wasn’t a traditional wedding, we were going to have our daughters there. This was going to be a memory they would not remember since they are both young (4 and 2), so a wedding video would be perfect, making sure to let our video guy know that we wanted as much footage of them as possible. I told Mrs. Z to place a phone call to our photographer company and see if they had any available, fortunately they did. Once I received the various package information, I made the choice and called and made all the payments. This was done less than a week before the big day.
I talked about adding more stress to the big day and leading up to it. Well, to add more to the pile which was growing rapidly already, I had to give a ‘Thank You’ Groom speech since nobody else was doing it. I wrote a draft of the speech a week before. I reviewed it, I read it, I memorized it – kind off. But the closer the day got, the more I felt it needed to change. The more nervous I got about what I was saying. Although it was simple ‘Thank You’ that I have written about previously of my speech, I was getting over-worked up about it. Want to know how it turned out? A wedding day post coming up from me point of view.
So Guy Advice? Don’t wait until the last minute. I guess that would be the right advice to give you all. After going through everything, I may have another. If you wait until the last minute, you will be going with your gut choice on most everything and I believe all the choices I made were perfect. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. So how did the wedding turn out on September 6th, 2013? How was the rehearsal dinner? How was the honeymoon without seeing our kids for 4 nights? All of this and more from the husband point of view coming soon…