I hate when kids are sick.

As a father of two, I believe one of the worst feelings I get is when my kids are sick.  I feel awful about it because I can’t do anything to make them feel much better.  My girls are 4 and almost 2 and I believe I need to figure out a way to cope with them being sick because naturally as part of life, I have a lifetime of illnesses that I will be dealing with.

The reason this came to mind is because my oldest one is currently sick and spent all day yesterday just laying there.  Mrs. Z took good care of her, but at work, I  was thinking about her all day.  It definitely stresses me out and distracts me from other items I’m trying to accomplish.

So as an experienced Dad of 4.5 years… what are the techniques you won’t be able to find anywhere else to make a sick child feel better?  Feeding them ice cream and letting them watch movies all day.  My philosophy of being sick, is medicine doesn’t do much of anything.  The real healer is time.  Unfortunately, when my kids are sick, I get impatient.  I think I am older, I can tolerate the grogginess, fever, cold, runny nose, sore throat.  I know kids are tougher than you think, maybe tougher than adults, but as a parent, natural instinct is to protect them.  When they are sick, I feel like I haven’t done my job as a parent from protecting them from germs.  I know this is all crazy talk, but I tend to be a bit of worry wort when it comes to certain things.

So how can I, as a parent, feel less guilty about kids being sick?  How can I go about my day doing the daily functions without having a dark cloud over my head?  Since I believe I understand life pretty well, I have come to the following conclusion to try to make me feel less anxious about this particular situation.

Kids being sick is out of our control most of the time.  And my personal philosophy is that anything that is out of out control, you can’t worry about.  It’s tough not to worry, I get it.

For instance, I begin to think about the ramifications of the oldest one being sick, than the younger one will probably be sick, daycare solutions can be a problem because we don’t want others to get sick, appetites are not the same, deciding what medicine to provide to them, should we send them to a doctor.  The worries and decisions seem to be endless when you constantly think about it.

But, if I take a step back and try to think about it again.  You can’t control your kid being sick.  It takes time to get better.  If you spend time worrying, will this make your child feel better?  No, and I understand this.  You do your best as a parent, provide everything you can.  There is no magic wand I can wave to make her feel better instantly and not be sick.  I will do what every parent has the ability to do which is love her.

Max 10.01.2013

Riding a one wheeler.

As I have been writing a post, I found a note from myself regarding my oldest daughter who will be 5 next year.  Eeeek!!!  Time sure does fly.  Anyways, she learned to ride a bike this past spring.  I basically put her on a two-wheeler and she told me she already knew how to do it.  I responded with, there is no training wheels.  Apparently, it didn’t matter to her and she just went.  I remember the initial proud feeling I got when I saw her riding.

So I found a note today about a funny thing she said I thought was so cute and decided to post it.  It was around Memorial Day weekend and A (my daughter) was riding around the neighborhood with me.  She was doing great.  I told her how proud I was of her.

Me: “I’m so proud of you for riding a two-wheeler.”

A: “I know Dad.  Soon I’ll be riding a one-wheeler.”

I love being a Dad.

Max 10.01.2013

Honeymoon without My Heart

I have been married for nearly three weeks and have been working diligently and attempting to post as much as I can about the wedding planning, the wedding, the honeymoon, coming back to work.  Today I wanted to quickly recap the honeymoon that my wife and I took.  Have you ever felt like your heart was missing?  That’s how I felt on my honeymoon after a couple of days… let me explain.

After a successful wedding on Friday (details on this soon to come), we spent Saturday hanging out with our daughters, packing, gathering ourselves together to take our very first vacation together since before we had kids.  We were going to a Secrets resorts in Riviera Maya, Mexico.  An all inclusive, adult only vacation with unlimited food and drinks, enjoying the beach with no craziness of children, sounds perfect right?  I mean we as parents deserve a break too sometimes, relax, and get back to our busy lives of children, work, and just everyday life.  I have been excited about this trip and looking forward to it since I initially booked it 6 months in advance.

We left our kiddos at Mrs. Z sisters house for a couple of days and my mom would be watching them the next couple of days.  We would be gone for 4 nights.  We left Sunday morning and were coming back Thursday night, we didn’t feel comfortable leaving the kids longer than that.  We also wanted to come back and have a few days to recoup from all the wedding and honeymoon chaos.

As we got dropped off by Mrs. Z Dad at the airport that Sunday, I felt anxious.  Would the kids be okay without us?  Would we be okay without them?  Am I sure this was a good idea to leave them for this long?  Will I make it in time to watch the 1st week of Bears Football?

Our flight was smooth and perfect.  We got in earlier than expected, transferred to the hotel and it was about noonish.  We were greeted like royalty.  The room was beautiful.  Our view I thought was fantastic of the ocean.  We began knocking back a few drinks and looking for a TV, to see if we can catch the Bears game and try some food as well.  I thought the hotel setup was just great, it felt relaxing, I really felt like I was in paradise.  Unfortunately, no Bears game, but I dismissed my disappointment and Katie and I just ate and drank and gave ourselves a tour of the hotel.  We were only on a few hours of sleep from the night before and discussed taking a nap, but that didn’t happen.  We were both running on adrenaline from being away and being able to relax for a few days almost seemed surreal to me.

We enjoyed the beach and ate a delicious Mexican dinner that night.  By 8pm we were absolutely exhausted and although I wanted to stay up later, and Katie’s eyes were closing as we sat on the patio, we decided to call it a night.  As much as I wanted to stay up and take advantage of the open bar, my body could no longer handle it and as soon as we both hit the bed, we were out.  The next morning, day 2, we were both up at 5am and enjoyed our in-room hot tub.  We watched the sunset from our balcony and went to enjoy a breakfast.

That morning, we agreed to a meeting with the Unlimited Vacation Club package – this was basically a presentation about a timeshare to come to any AM Resorts at anytime for huge promotional discounts.  I believe vacationing and taking time off to travel is essential to be able to move forward in life and keep a positive attitude, as well as have something to be looking forward too.  Without hesitation, we agreed to make our first big item purchase as a married couple but more details on this at another time.

That afternoon, we enjoyed LOTS of adult beverages with another couple at the swim up bar and passed out at the nearby cabana was reserved.  After our afternoon nap, we had dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse.  As mentioned perhaps in another post, I proposed at a Japanese Steakhouse (restaurant we have been going to the past 10 years) and this place just didn’t compare.  After dinner, and all the days drinking we have been doing, we were exhausted and both passed out for the night.

Tuesday morning, this is when I felt it changed for me.  I missed my girls.  Although we had video phone calls with them several times and we knew they were okay and having a great time, I missed them dearly.  The rest of the trip just felt off to me.  I tried to relax as much as I could, but it was hard, it felt as though my heart was missing from the trip.  We enjoyed more of the beach, great food, and drinks the rest of the trip.  We had a great couples massage that night.  Wednesday afternoon, we did some Jet Skiing.  But it all just seemed off to me from that point.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Z was not in her usual positive mood so I can only assume that she was feeling the same as I was.

My mom called me and we chatted with her and our girls.  They did not seem at all interested in what we were doing and didn’t seem like they missed us.  I missed them.  I felt like my heart was left in Chicago.  My mom offered to watch the girls and encouraged we stay a couple of days.  I couldn’t even imagine doing that.  I thanked her but respectfully declined and couldn’t wait for Thursday so I can give my girls hugs and kisses.

You spend all this time imagining time away from kids, away from work, away from life – to just relax, unwind, be rejuvenated and when the time comes – you don’t know what to do.  Perhaps it was just me.  I didn’t know what to do spending multiple nights away from them.  Perhaps they are just too young for me to leave them.  All I know is that all of the next vacations will be with them until they get older.  When we got back, I got all the hugs and kisses I had wished for.  We spent the next three days cleaning up and spending time with them.  It was wonderful, perhaps this was the type of honeymoon I needed.

Although I thought the overall vacation was a success, I missed my heart.  If I had a chance to do it over again, I would do it the exact same way because I wouldn’t realize how much I actually miss my girls and how much I need them.  Even if I spend a long day/night at the office and come home right before their bedtime, I still feel okay because I know I’m sleeping with them, I know they are close to me and I need that.  I need my heart because without it, is an unhealthy situation for me.

Stay tuned for more…

Max 09.26.13

Parenting – I am lucky

Ava & Zoey

So I haven’t been able to post many pictures but I figured it would be a good opportunity to share just how lucky my future wife (mother of my kiddos) and I are. Anytime I may be having a bad day, I can just spend a few minutes with my daughters and that changes. There is always good days and bad days, but never a dull day. I truly am lucky.

08.29.13 – Max