Sacrifice

I never knew and I don’t think most people know what sacrifice actually means. I think it’s something I learned over time. According to Websters, there are multiple definitions – “an act of offering to a deity something precious”, “something given up or lost”, “surrender of something for the sake of something else.”

People often hear other say I sacrificed everything, but do people actually know what it means? If you review the definitions above, there are different meanings. I think sacrifice needs to be felt. You need to felt it in your heart. When something sacrificed, I think one knows it. I know what sacrifice means. I know what it means for me. I didn’t know what sacrifice meant when I was in high school even though I might have used the word. I didn’t know what it meant in college. I learned what the word meant once I had kids and today I was reminded of what it means and I think it’s important that people know what it means without misrepresenting the word.

I learned what sacrifice means when I had Ava, and than Zoey. My two daughters mean the world to me. When I say that, I mean I am willing to sacrifice anything for them. I want to provide them the best opportunity for happiness. Notice that I said happiness. Some would say I want to make sure they go to college, or get married to someone that could provide for them, or I want my children to be successful. None of that matters to me. My goal is to give my best attempt to make sure they are happy. I want both of them to be positive and have a optimistic view for life. I want them to be generous, caring, loving, and have the values I instill them to be happy which I will do. If there is one goal in life I CANT fail in, it’s making sure I accomplish this for my girls.

My dad didn’t teach any of this. What did he teach me? He taught me that if I touch his toy model cars, I get beat up by him to make sure I know that I’m not allowed to smash his cars together. Last time I saw my dad, I was 7 – a little over 20 years ago. I remember saying goodbye to him at a train station, I may even have saw a tear on his face. I was moving to the United States from Ukraine with my mom, grandpa and grandma. He was staying behind. I always thought back… was this him making a sacrifice for me? Was he doing this because he knew I would be better off without him? I look back now and will never truly know what was going through his head. What I do know though?

No matter what the situation, no matter how I feel, no matter what obstacles are in my way – I will NEVER do that my daughters. They are my everything. I have and will continue to sacrifice everything that is me and anything I have to make sure they find happiness. Let’s look at an example of the smallest sacrifice I have made, and this is my opinion of small sacrifice which some can think is big.

I worked with elementary school children for over 5 years through high school and college. A teacher is something I always dreamed of being. Molding young minds into little adults. To be able to teach them, give them dreams and goals, to watch them grow – watching them grow up would amazing and fulfilling. Instead of this, I got an accounting degree and am currently a financial analyst for a publicly traded company. Previous to this, I worked for a CPA firm preparing tax returns and doing accounting work for small businesses. So from teaching children, I went to making sure we hit sales targets and preparing various reports to management. Could it be worse? Absolutely, it can always be worse. But is this what I dreamed of my life being? No. Do I have an option now to go back to school and get my education certificate and become a teacher? Yes, absolutely. Will I? No. Why? Sacrifice.

Financially, my family cannot afford to this. I need to make sure my kiddos are fed, and not only fed, but fed organic (free of GMOs) to live longer and healthier lives. They need a roof over their heads in a good neighborhood so they don’t get mixed up with the wrong crowd and not making the good choices. I need to make sure they wear good warm clothes. They need great medical facilities around them, just in case. They need good schools around them. I want to make sure they have all the tools surrounding them, besides me, that will give them the best chance at life. Does everyone have the option to feed their kids organic? No. Do Moms or Dads lose jobs and thus can’t even provide the basic necessities for kids? Yes. Trust me, I understand that not every situation is ideal. I understand that not all people have opportunities or given opportunities. What I do understand is that I came here when I was 8. I couldn’t speak English and I had nothing. My mom had nothing. I had no Dad to teach me what Dads are supposed to teach. Am I doing what I want? No. Am I able to provide for my kiddos? Absolutely.

Sacrifices are made every single day for them. Small sacrifices, big sacrifices, and in between. Now that I think about it, are they even sacrifices or is it just the unconditional love I have for them that makes me do whatever I need to to make sure they are taken care of?

08.31.13 – Max

Happy Last Month of August.

Wedding – my thank you speech?

My wedding is exactly a week away. We have done a lot of planning, finalizing this week and we still have a ton to do. I hope for it to be all worth it for the bride to be and have the day be as magical as she dreams it. On a separate note, as I was sitting at work a couple of days ago, I decided to write a standard “thank you for coming” speech that as the groom I can say next week. Basically, thanking everyone for coming out, blah blah blah. I wanted to post it on here and see if I would get any feedback and if anyone has any suggestions. As I mention, I want it short and sweet so here it is.

Hi everyone. I’ll make this short and sweet – I needed some help with giving a thank you speech, so I did the only thing I can think of – I googled it and it basically laid out exactly what I need to say so here it goes.

On behalf of my wife and I, can’t believe I just said that after 11 years, we’d like to thank you all for coming here today and sharing our special day with us. It’s good to be surrounded by people who are important to us, and to see them all in one day coming together just for us is a great feeling. We hope that you’re enjoying tonight as much as we are, I mean we’ve had open bar for an hour or so now but I’m sure we’ll get there (hopefully laughter). We would like to thank you everyone for your kind wishes cards, gifts and support and are so grateful and appreciative of it all.

We would like to thank our wedding party for all your help in organizing this little get together. We definitely couldn’t do it without you. We would also like to thank…

Chuck & Peggy (bride parents) – thank you for everything!!! Thank you for giving me your daughters hand in marriage that you raised wonderfully because you got her to like a guy like me. I promise to, as I have, continue taking care of her – even though she might organic me to death. Peggy, this also gives me an opportunity to say thank you for all time you spend with our girls, we honestly can’t thank you enough. Chuck, just so you know – I will continue to learn as much as I can from you so that we won’t have to call you every time we have to remodel the bathroom, paint the rooms or in my case – change a light bulb.

Momma Max (my moms) – I don’t have enough words to thank you – You all know me for the amazing and wonderful person that I am, BUT I couldn’t have done it without this woman over there. I know how much you have sacrificed for me and you have always been understanding with me no matter how much trouble I may have gotten in. Thank you so much and I love you more than you know. Now let me attempt to translate this to Russian, especially for my grandfather. (speak in Russian)

My best man, Akash (AK), first of all, thanks for the kind words (improvise). Not many people know this guy as well as I do, even though this guy doesn’t show it, his heart is bigger than anyone I know. He has been here for me through thick and thin and it means the world to me. I wouldn’t be where I am without him. So Thank you and I love you.

And finally, the bridesmaids, thanks for calming Katie’s nerves and helping her in preparation today – I can only imagine the past 12 hours have been quite interesting. But thank you and she looks absolutely stunning.

I will be cheesy for a moment and say I am the luckiest guy in the world today as I stand here next to the most beautiful woman in the world. Katie and I have had our special time in high school, college, after college and the past 5 years with our beautiful Ava & Zoey who have just been the absolute joy of our lives. I believe the key to our relationship has been forgiveness and love and it will continue to be love and support no matter what. So I love you and I look forward to growing old together for another 100 years. I expect to live at least that long with all the money we spend on organic food soooo … seriously though, I love you.

We have so many others that have had huge influences in our lives and we would both like to thank you again for everything. Let’s enjoy the rest of the evening and I know all the guests we invited here can probably drink this bar dry so don’t let me down and everyone have a good time and be safe. – Cheers

Let me know what you think and don’t forget – follow our blog as we will continue to share our story, provide advice for relationships, tips and how to stay together forever no matter what obstacles you may come into or we will just tell you to dump your significant other – either way – lots more content coming.

08.30.13 – Max

Parenting – I am lucky

Ava & Zoey

So I haven’t been able to post many pictures but I figured it would be a good opportunity to share just how lucky my future wife (mother of my kiddos) and I are. Anytime I may be having a bad day, I can just spend a few minutes with my daughters and that changes. There is always good days and bad days, but never a dull day. I truly am lucky.

08.29.13 – Max

Quick Tip – Follow Through

Yesterday I posted about waking your butt up earlier to create more time for yourself during the day.  There can be various reasons why you may want to create time for yourself.  For me right now, it’s to be able to write, it’s to be able to share and do what I love.  But instead of just words, the most important part of any plan is action.  I am proving my action right here.  I went to bed 4 hours ago and when usually I’m getting up at least an hour later, I am up right now.  This is my follow through from the goal I created yesterday.

So no more excuses.  Don’t just talk the talk, I want you to walk the walk.

Goodnight

It’s after midnight.  It’s bedtime, but I’m feeling excited.  I’m feeling optimistic.  I feel good.  Why?  I believe this blog will provide insight to individuals looking for advice for relationships, looking for optimistic views, looking for positive vibes.

My fiance hasn’t written much but she has had a view posts which worth reading which you can find under the Girl P.O.V.  We’ve had a full day of more wedding finalization for our big day next week.  We met with the DJ tonight which I will write about tomorrow but it was great, it made me realize that this is actually happening, I will be marrying someone I have known over 11 years, yet I feel nervous.  As I see her sleeping, I keep thinking what a lucky dude I am.  A great mother to my kiddos and my best friend.

If you are with your significant other, no matter the circumstances, no matter what fight you may have gotten into – give him or her a kiss on the forehead if they are sleeping and let them know you love them no matter what.  This was a goodnight and I’m ready for tomorrow.

08.29.13 – Max

I hate bad news…

I know when to lean on my bride to be for support and unfortunately, today was one of those times – I received a phone call today from my mom.  It started with her saying, “Max please don’t worry, everything is okay and don’t freak out.”

How am I supposed to react to something like that?  How am I supposed to stay calm when someone close to you starts a conversation like this?  My heart begins to race, I feel sick – so I need to know what is going on as fast as possible.  My mom and I have always been very close.  She raised me as a single mom and I was an only child.  The close family I grew up with have been my grandpa, grandma, and my mom.

As it seems like days go by before she tells me what is going on, I think back to the end of May of this year.  I received a similar phone call that started the same way. “Max you need to come home right away because I can’t watch the girls today,” she continued on to say “your grandma has not gotten out of bed all day and she has slept most of the day.”  I remember panicking in that instant.  My grandma has been in bad medical shape for the past couple of years and I won’t go into the laundry list of issues and medical conditions she has to deal with, but let’s just say we have been fortunate enough to have her make it this far along.  I’ve had the pleasure of knowing her for 29 years now and have spent more time with her than most people get to with their grandparents.  Although, I knew how bad of a medical condition she has been in recently, to receive a phone call, letting me know that they will be taking her to the ER by ambulance is still difficult.  I remember leaving work right away and coming home.  I have about a 30 minute commute home.  And I remember now as I drove how I felt and what I thought.  Is this it for her?  Will she not make it this time?  What was the last thing I said to her?  Why didn’t I go see her one more time?  What’s my grandpa going to do without her?  Is she suffering right now?  I found out that day that my grandma was going to be okay, and it was just another scare.

Back to my moms phone call.  She began with, “Your grandpa fell last night and we spent the night at the hospital.  Ambulance picked him up.”  I begin to panic and can barely breathe.  My grandpa has been like a Dad to me.  Him and I are close, as close as a grandchild can be with a grandpa.  I’m also getting married next week, the only person I need to make sure is there is him.  Is he not going to make it to next week?  “He scrapped up his knees, broke his shoulder, busted him arm and it will take 6 to 8 weeks to recover.”

Sigh of relief by me.  As bad as it is for an 85 year old to take a bad fall, at least it was only his shoulder.  It could have been much worse.  He will still be there for our special day next week.  I know my grandpa, and he wouldn’t miss this for anything.  What is the lesson of all of this?

Well for one, I know that I hate bad news… I hate receiving phone calls that start with “Don’t freak out but…”  And no matter what, it is difficult to deal with them.  But what I attempt to do is stay positive.  Stay energetic.  Don’t let bad news bring you down.  Learn a way to calm your nerves.  Take deep breaths.  Call your significant other to lean on, because these are the times that you most need each other.  So Thank You to my better half for being there today.  Tomorrow is another day.

08.28.13 – Max

Site Update

Since this morning, I have upgraded our account to have a real website (Woooohoooo!!!) – we are officially TillBlogDoUsPart.com

I have also created a Twitter account to be followed  @tilblogdouspart

I have posted my opinion on getting your butt out of bed today and am working on so much more.

I also got news that it has been a productive day for my future wife to be in less than 2 weeks as she is finalizing things for our big day on September 6th.

It’s a pretty darn good Hump Day thus far so I think w/ all the updates I am working on, you should definitely be one of the 1st ones to follow us.  : )

Cheers